onair

Chapter 7

Spring came soft and slow that year.

The trees turned green. The flowers bloomed. The Sophie Foundation grew faster than anyone had expected.

By May, they’d opened three more shelters. They’d helped over two hundred women and kids. They’d partnered with law firms all over the state to provide free legal help. They’d launched a job training program that had already placed forty women in full-time jobs.

Nora was busier than she’d ever been. She worked twelve-hour days. She visited the shelters every morning. She met with donors every afternoon. She testified before the state legislature about stronger protections for domestic violence survivors.

She was tired. But she was happy.

For the first time in her life, she knew what she was supposed to be doing.

In June, she got a letter.

It was from Evan.

He was in the federal penitentiary three hours away. He’d pled guilty to all charges, got seven years. He’d written to ask if Nora would let him see Sophie.

Nora held the letter in her hands for a long time.

She didn’t open it for three days.

On the fourth day, she was sitting in the shelter’s garden, watching Sophie play with a group of kids. A little boy who’d arrived the week before—his dad had broken his arm—was teaching Sophie how to catch a butterfly.

Sophie laughed. A bright, happy sound.

She didn’t ask about Evan anymore. She hadn’t mentioned him in months.

Nora opened the letter.

His handwriting was shaky.

Nora,

I know you hate me. I deserve it. I think about Christmas Eve every single day. I see you standing in the snow, holding Sophie. I see what I did. I don’t know who I was back then. I let my mother control me. I let greed control me. I threw away the only good thing I ever had.

I’m not asking for forgiveness. I don’t expect it. I just want to see Sophie. For an hour. Supervised. Through glass if that’s what you want. She’s my daughter. I need her to know I’m sorry. Even if I don’t deserve it.

Whatever you decide, I’ll respect it.

Evan

Nora folded the letter. She put it in her pocket.

She didn’t answer right away.

She talked to Arthur. To Jax. To Sophie’s child psychologist.

The psychologist said it was up to Nora. If she thought it would hurt Sophie, don’t do it. If she thought it would help her have closure, maybe.

Nora thought about it for two weeks.

She thought about the little boy in the shelter. He asked about his dad every night. He cried himself to sleep saying his dad didn’t love him.

She didn’t want Sophie to grow up thinking her dad didn’t love her. Even if he was a terrible husband. Even if he’d made every mistake a man could make.

She called the prison.

Set up a visit.

One hour. Supervised. No physical contact.

She didn’t tell Sophie until the morning of.

They drove to the prison. It was a big, gray, ugly building surrounded by razor wire. Sophie held Thumper tight in her lap.

“Where are we, Mommy?” she asked.

“We’re going to see your daddy,” Nora said gently. “He’s been away for a while. He wants to say he’s sorry.”

Sophie nodded. She didn’t say anything else.

They went through security. Empty pockets. Metal detectors. Pat-downs.

A guard led them to the visiting room.

Long rows of tables. Glass dividers. Phones on each side.

Evan was already there.

He looked terrible. Thin. Pale. His hair was cut short. He wore an orange jumpsuit.

When he saw Sophie, his face crumpled.

Nora sat down. She picked up the phone. Evan picked up his.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he said. His voice cracked. “Thank you. For bringing her.”

Nora lifted Sophie onto her lap. She held the phone to Sophie’s ear.

“Hi, Daddy,” Sophie said.

Evan cried.

“Hi, peanut,” he said. “God, you’ve gotten so big. Your hair is so long. You look just like your mommy.”

Sophie smiled. She held Thumper up to the glass.

“Look, Daddy! Thumper’s ear is all better now! Mommy sewed it!”

Evan nodded. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“That’s great, baby. That’s so great.”

They talked for forty minutes. Sophie told him about preschool. About the shelter. About the butterfly she’d caught. Evan asked a hundred questions. He laughed when she told him a joke about a penguin.

When the guard said time was up, Sophie leaned forward. She pressed her little hand to the glass.

“Bye, Daddy,” she said. “I love you.”

Evan pressed his hand to the glass, matching hers.

“I love you too, peanut,” he whispered. “More than anything. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”

Nora hung up the phone. She lifted Sophie into her arms and carried her out.

Evan watched them go.

Outside, the sun was bright. Sophie skipped to the car, chattering about ice cream.

Nora stopped before she got in. She took a deep breath of fresh air.

May you like

For the first time since Christmas Eve, she didn’t feel angry.

She felt free.

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